Today is the last day if my 2017 End of the Year Style Awards! Where has the year gone? I know that you guys are eagerly awaiting my Best Dressed of the Year list, but before that happens I have to get one thing out of the way. Unfortunately not every look on the red carpet this year was spectacular, so the following are the 10 looks this year that I just vehemently hated. I almost didn’t put this list together, because I accidentally deleted the file with all of the pictures in it. BUT! I started thinking of looks that I just really despised this year and suddenly the whole list was back together! Sorry to everyone who made the list this year, take into account some of the wise words I impart here and maybe you won’t make the list next year.1) Emily Ratajkowski in custom Dundas: You read that right this hot mess express that Emily Ratajkowski wore for the 2017 Cannes Film Festival premiere of Loveless was custom made for her. This Victorian vampiress look was just way too complicated on its own. Emily should have seen the sheer black lace catsuit with the tiered taffeta train and wide cummerbund waist and asked Peter Dundas (who was her date) what else he had on hand. Puffy taffeta skirts have a distinct 80’s air about them, and while 80’s inspiration was a big trend this year this just didn’t translate as modern. Emily also isn’t doing anything to sell this look to me. Her pose and face just came across as awkward and uncomfortable, like she knew that this was a terrible look. The lackluster hair and makeup also added to this overall failure of this look. The only thing that could have saved this look would be to totally scrap it and going back to the drawing boards.2) Dakota Johnson in Gucci Fall 2017 RTW: I have never understood the hype behind Dakota Johnson’s style. I know that can get me into trouble saying that, but it is honestly how I feel. For every one good red carpet moment she has there are three or four that I end up putting on my worst dressed list. Her Oscar gown this year was by far the worst. I knew that she would wear Gucci for the red carpet, and after watching the newest show just days prior I had one hope or for something great that was custom, but I was majorly let down. She showed up wearing a version of the antique wedding gown from The Proposal. The antique gold silk charmuse gown would have been better suited for a wedding in the 30’s and donated to the Met for future bridal exhibits than the Oscar’s red carpet. What was most disappointing was that this gown on the runway was really impactful in a bold pink and on a supermodel like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley would have been one of the better Gucci looks of the year, but since Dakota made the look bland it was ruined. Her flat hair didn’t help the case of this look either. Also has she ever heard of a steamer because this gown looks like it was rolled into a ball in her suitcase.
3) Madonna in custom Moschino: We all know Madonna is bat shit crazy. And that is one of the things that makes her iconic, but her cameo Moschino gown at the Met Gala was just a hot ass mess. She took the same shape of the Moschino gown that she wore for the 2015 Met Gala and sent it to war and got caught in the crawl net on the way from boot camp to the red carpet. It didn’t make any sense with the Rei Kawakubo/Comme De Garcons: Art of the In-Between theme of this years red carpet, and I just continued to scratch my head at every part of this look.
4) Heidi Klum in Dundas Resort 2018: Okay Heidi this is about the umpteenth time that I have had to say this, you need to start dressing more sophisticated because these try hard gowns are just aging you. Don’t get me wrong I believe that aging doesn’t mean you cannot still ooze sex appeal, but this sheer Dundas Resort 2018 gown just comes across as desperate. Her boobs look like they are gasping for breath in a gown that is barely there. Her confidence is definitely trying to sell this gown to me, but nothing is working. On top of the sheerness and the fit of this gown her hair is incredibly lack luster. I guess I am just grateful that on top of everything else that Heidi didn’t over accessorize the look with stacks of diamond bracelets like she has been known to do. Heidi I tell you if you stuck with Atelier Versace, Alexandre Vauthier, and Armani Prive that you would do yourself some major justice. 5) Andrea Riseborough in Isabel Marant: Out of all of my past Ones to Watch Andrea Riseborough has been one of the most disappointing. When she first burst onto the seen wearing gorgeous Christian Dior Couture gowns Andrea was the epitome of glamour, now I am hard pressed to find a look of hers that I even kind of like. She has been making the rounds this year promoting Battle of the Sexes and helping the film campaign for awards season love her looks have given me a mixed reaction at best. But when she stepped out for the Miss Golden Globe announcement celebration I found myself completely puzzled. There were a lot of really great high fashion costumes this year, but this look was so far removed from Halloween you couldn’t even make the argument that it was a multiple stop night for Andrea. She looked like a real life extra from The Jetsons or the Disney Channel original movie Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century in this metallic Isabel Marant jumpsuit. The jumpsuit itself isn’t terrible but when paired with the white wig, the icy pink lips, and those crystal fingerless gloves this look all the crazy injections that just made it laughable.
6) Cardi B in custom Christian Siriano: Have you ever wondered what it would look like if Madonna and Lady Gaga’s wardrobe had a tacky baby? Then look no further than the custom Christian Siriano gown that Cardi B wore on the red carpet at the 2017 MTV Video Music Awards. The top was all Madonna/Gaultier inspired with heavy influence of the custom Brandon Maxwell designs that Lady Gaga wore for the 2016 Academy Awards and Vanity Fair Oscar party. This was the first time I was introduced to Cardi and I was less than impressed. I get wanting to reference music and fashion history, but I was just completely underwhelmed with the execution. Siriano can be very hit or miss with his looks and maybe if the top half was executed better I MAY have been able to get on board with this, but overall it just seemed to be over designed at best. Removing all those straps and the collar neck and making the look would be a good start on fixing this look. As Cardi continues to makes waves in the Rap & Hip Hop world I think her sartorial options will start to get better.
7) Jennifer Lopez in Julien Macdonald: Pretty much everything I said about the fit of Heidi Klum’s Dundas gown is ditto here with Jennifer Lopez in Julien Macdonald. Jennifer is one of my favorites, but every so often she gives a look like this that I just can’t get over how bad it is. Her whole body seems to be stuffed into this barely there gown and I am just over it. Jennifer can be completely covered and still ooze sex appeal and this ‘naked dress’ just ended up coming across as trashy, but she is selling it from head to toe. That is one thing I give Jennifer a lot of credit because no matter what she is wearing she is always working overtime to sell it. No more barely there ‘naked dresses’ in 2018 alright Jenny? 8) Scarlett Johansson in vintage Yves St. Laurent: For best and worst dressed I take my year from December to November to make it fair in my consideration. I thought I had my lists this year sowed up and ready to go, but then November 30th came around. It was late and I had jumped the gun a little and started editing the pics for this list and then I saw Scarlett Johansson in this vintage Yves Saint Laurent couture gown. I don’t know what happened to the magic that ScarJo used to exude, but this look just ended up looking more like a cheap knockoff of YSL than vintage couture. It doesn’t fit and a satin gown like this has to fit perfectly for it to be executed in a way that could land you on a best dressed list. The pulls at the waist and hips are examples of the bad fit and the neckline looks like it’s squeezing Scarlett’s girls for dear life. Also this is another example of where a good pressing would benefit the look immensely. The lapel like details seem to be going in whatever direction that they want to and all the creases on the skirt didn’t help further this look at all. Scarlett if you want email me and I will help make you a style star again next year, especially with a film opening the Berlin Film Festival and the major promo tour for Avengers: Infinity War.
9) Jared Leto in Gucci: To be honest I don’t hate this head to toe Gucci look, except for maybe the white socks, on Jared Leto. He wears it really well. What I hate is that he wore this for the Vanity Fair Oscars Party. When I was scrolling through Getty Images at all the pictures from this event I saw the thumbnail of Jared and literally asked myself who let a homeless guy on the red carpet next to all of the couture gowns and tuxedos. Gucci has a great selection of avant garde formal wear that would have easily allowed for Jared to stand out against the sea of basic black and navy tuxedos, but this just didn’t work for this red carpet. From beanie to t-shirt to tube socks this just got a resounding no for me. Had he worn this while doing a press appearance for like Sirius/XM or light night talk show I would have thought it cool, but event appropriateness is always something I take into account, & this was definitely totally wrong for this event.
10) Taraji P. Henson in Schiaparelli Fall 2017 Couture: Rounding out this years worst dressed list is sadly Taraji P. Henson. The gorgeous actress was one more that slipped onto this list at the last minute on November 30th. Had this happened on December 1st would it have made my Worst Dressed of the Year list next year? Maybe not, but because I was so appalled in the moment it made it this year. Her tonal green color blocked Schiaparelli Fall 2017 Couture chiffon shirt dress isn’t itself the problem, it’s not even the hair and makeup that ruined this look. It was the very visible silicone nipple covers. Doing a sheer look is very tricky because you have to really have to have the perfect undergarments to really give that nude appearance. Had Taraji opted for matte pasties instead of the silicone ones she wore I don’t think I would have placed this look on my worst of the year list, but her nipples were just so jarring that I couldn’t get past it. I don’t think I would have minded this look if Taraji had decided to free the nipple opting not to wear any nipple cover at all, but just the way the flashing bulbs of the cameras reflected what she did wear ruined the whole look for me.